We get to the Laos border and have to wait on line for a while.. a long while. Laos and Cambodia (up next after Laos) both require visas, so that's an extra chunk of time and paperwork down the drain. You hand in your documents and then wait for another while.. another long while. Finally they call your name and you're ready to cross the border, right? Wrong. You have to wait even more time for one of their buses to take you not 100 yards over to Laos, crossing the border.. and THEN you can get into your bus and move on. About three hours after you've started this process, you're ready to move forward. Surely (don't call me Shirley) there must be at least 20 simple ways to streamline this process. Then again, which government processes ARE efficient? .. so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised, after all.
Our mode of transport through the first two days in Laos, visiting Pakbeng and Luang Prabaang, is by boat via the Mekong (pronounced May-kong) River, also known as the Mighty Mekong. That said, calling it mighty is a little misleading, since cruising the Mekong is such an incredibly calm and serene experience. The only thing I can think of is that it's the largest river in southeast Asia, and it supplies power to many of the neighboring countries, making it the main export for places like Laos. So possibly.. supplying power = mighty? Sounds like a job for Wikipedia.
The boat we took to cruise the Mekong for two days was pretty nice.. it was all wooden, maybe 40-50 feet long, had room underneath the boat for our larger luggage, tables to eat our lunch on, an area to sit and sunbathe.. and my personal favorite - it had some power outlets! As a result, we were able to use my knockoff Beats Pill and charge our phones all day, which was great. The cruising itself couldn't have been more relaxing.. it was just what we needed after a handful of days running around Thailand.. and the scenery was just beautiful. I might've taken more photos along the Mekong than in any other place on the trip.
I really can't say enough about how beautiful the views are from a boat cruising the Mekong - all angles are aesthetically pleasing, from gorgeous mountain ranges to different types of exotic-looking trees and plant life.. to small fishing/farming villages on the outskirts of rural Laos - just beautiful, and photos can hardly do it justice.
Our first stop in Laos is Pakbeng, a tiny town right on the Mekong, that appears be supported solely by travellers along the Mekong. There's one real street (street is a liberal description) in the village, and our hotel is very rustic but also very nice. Upon arrival, a bunch of young kids rush to the boat to try to carry our luggage up the hill for tips.. but it's crazy because these kids are far too little to carry our big luggage.. so we decline.. but boy, were they persistent.
Laos is a Communist country, even though it's locally referred to as PDR Laos, or the People's Democratic Republic of Laos. Our local tour guide, Nila aka Nuth, explained that people are allowed to own a certain amount of property and earn wages on their own in certain cases, but there are many other facets of this extremely poor country that are in accordance with a typical Communist society.
For example, in certain places, Pakbeng being one of them, there is an 11pm curfew that is strictly adhered to. This means around 10:50, they begin ushering you out of one of the two bars in the town, and they practically follow you back to your guesthouse, where you need to go to bed or so something else which does not create noise. Also, people are on the streets offer you things like opium.. but if you accept and you're caught, you could go to jail for a very long time or be forced to pay extremely hefty fines (even by our standards) to get yourself out, as drugs of all kinds are fully illegal here, and people who are caught breaking the law will be prosecuted to the fullest extent.
So.. no illegal activities.. no staying out past 11pm.. no problem! .. not for this group, anyhow. After having a lovely local dinner at our guesthouse (despite the evil-eyed cat getting up in my grill), Frank and I went with Marco (Swiss bro) and the Aussie bros, Damon and Nick, out to one of the two bars we found on the one street in Pakbeng. Knowing that we only had about two hours before we would be ushered, we got directly down to brass tacks. After enjoying Sang Som all throughout Thailand, it was time to give Whiskey Laos a fair shake.
Strangely, Whiskey Laos is a bit of a broad concept in that you can order it just like that - "Whiskey Laos" - and you could legitimately end up getting any one of four or five different drinks. The cheapest local whiskey is Lao Lao, which comes in clear and cherry or something to that effect. The cherry is nasty, but the clear is pretty good and packs a solid punch - and for what really amounts to pennies, it's definitely the best value. The more "premium" Loatian whiskeys are Lion and Tiger, and both are really good. There is also a Black Lion whiskey and I think that's different as well. Tiger actually has a flavor called "Smooth and Mellon" which has a melon aftertaste, and it's incredible.. in fact if I can get a bottle or two shipped to the states, I will. So.. depending on which one of these four the restaurant has in stock, you could get any one of them, and the surprise is in the first sip.
We each order a whiskey Laos (in this case they had Lion), only to realize that we're paying about $1 each for a drink when we can buy an entire bottle for $3-4.. so after our first round, we invest in a bottle, half of which would be consumed on this night.. and more on the remaining half in the next post.
Now that we have our whiskey in tow, it's time to play some Bull$hit. I generally always bring cards when I go on any trips, and between Bull$hit and Kings (played on the overnight train), we definitely got our money's worth.
Bull$hit is a fairly simple game where the object is to get rid of all of your cards (or get down to two sets of four of the same card) before your opponents, as cards must be placed down in sequential order while each player gets their turn to place the "next" card(s) in sequence.. but a player can also throw down cards out of sequence, whilst claiming that they are in sequence. For example, two people to my right throw down a five followed by three sixes. Now it's my turn, and I have to throw or claim to throw any number of sevens. At this point, I may have sevens in my hand, and I may not. If I do, I can simply throw any or all of them face-down onto the pile. If I don't have any sevens, I can throw one or more cards from my hand and say "one seven," "two sevens," or something along those lines. The catch here is that while the people to my right represented fives and sixes, and I'm representing sevens.. from the point when someone claims to throw a certain card, anyone in the game can call Bull$hit! on that throw. At that point, the cards that were thrown must be revealed - if the throw was true, the person who incorrectly called Bull$hit has to take all of the cards in the pile (and drink), thus putting them at a disadvantage. However, if the throw was not what was represented at the time and that person gets caught bull$hitting, then that person has to take custody of the pile (and drink). Whoever gets stuck with the cards at that point now starts a new sequence.
You might be wondering.. why would someone be compelled to call Bull$hit on someone else? Well.. especially as the game progresses, people acquire sets of all four suits of a given card - so they know for sure that someone else claiming to throw that card is bull$hitting.. likewise if someone has two or three of a particular card, they may take a risk and call Bull$hit, hoping it will pay off and leave the other player with the pile of cards. People also begin to learn one another's habits and call Bull$hit on a purely speculative basis. For example, it's not uncommon to claim to throw two or three of a card that you actually do have, but instead to throw two or three garbage cards.. because if you have three 7s, four tens, and some other garbage cards, you can try to get rid of the garbage card and call Bull$hit on someone the next time they throw the remaining seven to complete the set of four.
The funniest parts of the game are when you get stuck with the card pile, and you get to look at the cards you take in and see who was bull$hitting and who was not. It's a very fun game, and this would not be the last time we'd play it.. with this bottle of Lion Whiskey.. within the next 12 hours. We played until closing and had some good times until about 10:50 or so, when they ushered us out of the bar to beat the 11pm curfew (ugh, Communism). We walk the two minutes back to the guesthouse and we're then asked to keep quiet and go to our rooms (ugh, Communism).
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