Crossing the Thailand/Laos border + Cruising the Mekong River, day 1 + Pakbeng and the 11pm curfew = [Whiskey Lao + Bull$hit]

Crossing the border from Thailand to Laos is a fairly interesting and highly inefficient process. First off, they're bordering countries, so one could easily just walk from one right into the other, if this process at the border didn't exist. Second, it seems like they're using unnecessary resources to have more control over the process, but it doesn't make a ton of sense to me.. at least at the moment. My other main experience with crossing a border by motor vehicle was in college, going across to Canada from Buffalo.. and that was pretty straightforward. With few exceptions, they look at passports for a minute, ask a question or two, and then you move on to cross the border. Welp.. not this time.

We get to the Laos border and have to wait on line for a while.. a long while. Laos and Cambodia (up next after Laos) both require visas, so that's an extra chunk of time and paperwork down the drain. You hand in your documents and then wait for another while.. another long while. Finally they call your name and you're ready to cross the border, right? Wrong. You have to wait even more time for one of their buses to take you not 100 yards over to Laos, crossing the border.. and THEN you can get into your bus and move on. About three hours after you've started this process, you're ready to move forward. Surely (don't call me Shirley) there must be at least 20 simple ways to streamline this process. Then again, which government processes ARE efficient? .. so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised, after all.

Our mode of transport through the first two days in Laos, visiting Pakbeng and Luang Prabaang, is by boat via the Mekong (pronounced May-kong) River, also known as the Mighty Mekong. That said, calling it mighty is a little misleading, since cruising the Mekong is such an incredibly calm and serene experience. The only thing I can think of is that it's the largest river in southeast Asia, and it supplies power to many of the neighboring countries, making it the main export for places like Laos. So possibly.. supplying power = mighty? Sounds like a job for Wikipedia.

The boat we took to cruise the Mekong for two days was pretty nice.. it was all wooden, maybe 40-50 feet long, had room underneath the boat for our larger luggage, tables to eat our lunch on, an area to sit and sunbathe.. and my personal favorite - it had some power outlets! As a result, we were able to use my knockoff Beats Pill and charge our phones all day, which was great. The cruising itself couldn't have been more relaxing.. it was just what we needed after a handful of days running around Thailand.. and the scenery was just beautiful. I might've taken more photos along the Mekong than in any other place on the trip.

I really can't say enough about how beautiful the views are from a boat cruising the Mekong - all angles are aesthetically pleasing, from gorgeous mountain ranges to different types of exotic-looking trees and plant life.. to small fishing/farming villages on the outskirts of rural Laos - just beautiful, and photos can hardly do it justice.

Our first stop in Laos is Pakbeng, a tiny town right on the Mekong, that appears be supported solely by travellers along the Mekong. There's one real street (street is a liberal description) in the village, and our hotel is very rustic but also very nice. Upon arrival, a bunch of young kids rush to the boat to try to carry our luggage up the hill for tips.. but it's crazy because these kids are far too little to carry our big luggage.. so we decline.. but boy, were they persistent.

Laos is a Communist country, even though it's locally referred to as PDR Laos, or the People's Democratic Republic of Laos. Our local tour guide, Nila aka Nuth, explained that people are allowed to own a certain amount of property and earn wages on their own in certain cases, but there are many other facets of this extremely poor country that are in accordance with a typical Communist society.

For example, in certain places, Pakbeng being one of them, there is an 11pm curfew that is strictly adhered to. This means around 10:50, they begin ushering you out of one of the two bars in the town, and they practically follow you back to your guesthouse, where you need to go to bed or so something else which does not create noise. Also, people are on the streets offer you things like opium.. but if you accept and you're caught, you could go to jail for a very long time or be forced to pay extremely hefty fines (even by our standards) to get yourself out, as drugs of all kinds are fully illegal here, and people who are caught breaking the law will be prosecuted to the fullest extent.

So.. no illegal activities.. no staying out past 11pm.. no problem! .. not for this group, anyhow. After having a lovely local dinner at our guesthouse (despite the evil-eyed cat getting up in my grill), Frank and I went with Marco (Swiss bro) and the Aussie bros, Damon and Nick, out to one of the two bars we found on the one street in Pakbeng. Knowing that we only had about two hours before we would be ushered, we got directly down to brass tacks. After enjoying Sang Som all throughout Thailand, it was time to give Whiskey Laos a fair shake.

Strangely, Whiskey Laos is a bit of a broad concept in that you can order it just like that - "Whiskey Laos" - and you could legitimately end up getting any one of four or five different drinks. The cheapest local whiskey is Lao Lao, which comes in clear and cherry or something to that effect. The cherry is nasty, but the clear is pretty good and packs a solid punch - and for what really amounts to pennies, it's definitely the best value. The more "premium" Loatian whiskeys are Lion and Tiger, and both are really good. There is also a Black Lion whiskey and I think that's different as well. Tiger actually has a flavor called "Smooth and Mellon" which has a melon aftertaste, and it's incredible.. in fact if I can get a bottle or two shipped to the states, I will. So.. depending on which one of these four the restaurant has in stock, you could get any one of them, and the surprise is in the first sip.

We each order a whiskey Laos (in this case they had Lion), only to realize that we're paying about $1 each for a drink when we can buy an entire bottle for $3-4.. so after our first round, we invest in a bottle, half of which would be consumed on this night.. and more on the remaining half in the next post.

Now that we have our whiskey in tow, it's time to play some Bull$hit. I generally always bring cards when I go on any trips, and between Bull$hit and Kings (played on the overnight train), we definitely got our money's worth.

Bull$hit is a fairly simple game where the object is to get rid of all of your cards (or get down to two sets of four of the same card) before your opponents, as cards must be placed down in sequential order while each player gets their turn to place the "next" card(s) in sequence.. but a player can also throw down cards out of sequence, whilst claiming that they are in sequence. For example, two people to my right throw down a five followed by three sixes. Now it's my turn, and I have to throw or claim to throw any number of sevens. At this point, I may have sevens in my hand, and I may not. If I do, I can simply throw any or all of them face-down onto the pile. If I don't have any sevens, I can throw one or more cards from my hand and say "one seven," "two sevens," or something along those lines. The catch here is that while the people to my right represented fives and sixes, and I'm representing sevens.. from the point when someone claims to throw a certain card, anyone in the game can call Bull$hit! on that throw. At that point, the cards that were thrown must be revealed - if the throw was true, the person who incorrectly called Bull$hit has to take all of the cards in the pile (and drink), thus putting them at a disadvantage. However, if the throw was not what was represented at the time and that person gets caught bull$hitting, then that person has to take custody of the pile (and drink). Whoever gets stuck with the cards at that point now starts a new sequence.

You might be wondering.. why would someone be compelled to call Bull$hit on someone else? Well.. especially as the game progresses, people acquire sets of all four suits of a given card - so they know for sure that someone else claiming to throw that card is bull$hitting.. likewise if someone has two or three of a particular card, they may take a risk and call Bull$hit, hoping it will pay off and leave the other player with the pile of cards. People also begin to learn one another's habits and call Bull$hit on a purely speculative basis. For example, it's not uncommon to claim to throw two or three of a card that you actually do have, but instead to throw two or three garbage cards.. because if you have three 7s, four tens, and some other garbage cards, you can try to get rid of the garbage card and call Bull$hit on someone the next time they throw the remaining seven to complete the set of four.

The funniest parts of the game are when you get stuck with the card pile, and you get to look at the cards you take in and see who was bull$hitting and who was not. It's a very fun game, and this would not be the last time we'd play it.. with this bottle of Lion Whiskey.. within the next 12 hours. We played until closing and had some good times until about 10:50 or so, when they ushered us out of the bar to beat the 11pm curfew (ugh, Communism). We walk the two minutes back to the guesthouse and we're then asked to keep quiet and go to our rooms (ugh, Communism).

Wat Rong Khun (The White Temple), the truly amazing modern temple + The Hill Tribes + It's a $hit shirt party, and shock value = winning

Our group was running on time on the way from Chiangmai to Chiangrai, so they decided to take us on a few extra stops along the way.. and it's a good thing they did, as the second of the two stops was one of the most incredible works of art these eyes have ever seen - Wat Rong Khun, also known as The White Temple.. but more on that in a moment.

The first stop we made is actually a functional rest stop these days, though this is not your average rest stop. Cabbages and Condoms is like a small campus for sex education between Chiangmai and Chiangrai, Thailand. The short of it is that there were too many children being born in Thailand simply because the idea of using protection was a foreign one, and so were many other concepts around sex education. This little campus was set up and education is now spread throughout the realm, and the income from the rest stop subsidizes the education initiative (and possibly helps feed the peacocks on the premises). There are all kinds of funny souvenirs and signs inside, so we had some fun with that.. and we also grabbed a few snacks.

Speaking of snacks, now seems like a fine time to mention the interesting variety of snacks available in almost every store/stand Thailand and Laos. They must LOVE pringles, lays, oreos, and chips ahoy, plus as a few other things as well. If you like pretzels or granola bars and such, good luck finding them.. you'll find it much easier to locate seaweed flavored pringles, lobster flavored lays, or blueberry/orange ice cream flavored oreos. Another thing I noticed on this front is that much of these snacks are a year or two beyond the expiration date printed on the package.. but we all seem alright thus far, so maybe those dates are overrated anyhow. Some final notes about stores/stands and their inventory - if you lose your contact lens rewetting drops on tour day 4 of 14, you will absolutely not find another one for the rest of the trip - not happening. It has also been impossible to find a book of matches anywhere to this point, though I have seen some lighters around. Veird.

Our second stop was, by far, my favorite abbreviated stop of the trip. Wat Rong Khun, known to foreigners as The White Temple, is a modern marvel and work of art. Designed by well-known Thai artist Ajarn Chalermchai Kositpipat, this Temple broke ground in the late nineties and is far from finished - the artist has plans that are projected to take 80-90 more years before completion. One of the reasons this projection is so long is that Kositpipat refuses to take large donations from outside investors and other sources, as he wants to maintain total creative control over the project for as long as he's around.. which is quite admirable.

While there remains almost a century until the projected completion date of the White Temple, the structures that have already been built are simply majestic, words really can't do them justice, and pictures barely scratch the surface.

Kositpipat wanted to combine ancient Thai art style with contemporary art and forms, which had yet to be done on a large scale. This fusion of styles is evident all throughout the temple grounds, but in no place moreso than in the main temple. The oustide of this temple is majestic (there is no better word to describe it), but the inside is also downright impressive, intriguing, and thought-provoking. The only shame is that photography is prohibited on the inside walls, where there is an incredible series of highly detailed paintings - some politically angled, some not.

One thing that makes all of these paintings more unique is that they're all done directly on the wall - no canvasses or frames. On the lighter side, there are tons of small paintings of a number of characters from movies and western pop culture such as Batman, ET, Tomb Raider, the minion character from Despicable Me, Michael Jackson, Terminator, and so many more that I can't even recall. On the heavier side, there's a large dedication to the Twin Towers as a plane crashes into them, while smoke from the towers turns into a line going out to a huge gas pump.. and along those same lines, there's a massive depiction of the devil on the back wall, with the eyes of the devil containing paintings of two distinct faces - Osama Bin Laden and George Bush.. so we can start to see what Kositpipat's views are on the west, our foreign enemies, and our dependency on the middle east for gas and oil. Whether or not one agrees with the artist's message, though, it's difficult to deny the intrigue and ingenuity in his work.

The area around the main temple is also breathtaking, lined with gleaming white finishes and surrounded by meticulously groomed grounds and ponds filled with beautiful fish. One can also see some of the ongoing construction, though it's not extremely evident unless you're looking for it - if someone told me the temple was already completed, I would believe it.

Just as there was in South Korea at the N Seoul Tower, you could buy a little piece to write your name or a message, and hang it on one of the many trees full of them outside of the temple. Also, you could throw some Thai baht into the nearby wishing well, and it's supposed to bring you good karma.. so let's keep that coming! That photo of the coin heading into the fountain is one of my favorites.

We spent only one hour at Wat Rong Kun, but it's the type of place that can easily keep one's mind busy for hours, or even days. All in all, what an incredible experience.. and one I will not soon forget.

The next activity was to visit the Hill Tribes of Chiangrai. Represented in this area are the Akha, Yao, Lanu, and Karen tribes, and each has its own way of welcoming us and showing us around its grounds.

The Hill Tribes haven't had it easy by any standards. They've been pushed out of many areas within southeast Asia, only to find a home in Thailand, where their income comes almost exclusively from tourism - at $25 per person, this was the most expensive optional activity on our trip.. so our contributions supposedly help out quite a bit, as that can easily feed a family here for at. least a week. In previous locations, their income came mostly from drug (opium) money, courtesy of the Golden Triangle, which was an opium ring spanning across Burma, Lao, and Thailand. When the Golden Triangle was shut down many years ago, the Hill Tribes were left without a dependable source of income, and after being run out of several places, they finally found a happy home in Chiangrai.

The most unique-looking tribe of all is the Karen (longneck) tribe, as they permanently wear cast iron braces around their necks, in most cases from a young age, as the belief is that longer necks are more attractive. Some of these braces, constructed from cast iron bars wrapped around in the shape of a circle, are quite long for what you'd expect to fit around a person's neck. They typically wear these braces for life, without removing them. Over time, a cast iron neck brace severely weakens the muscles in their necks, so if they were ever to remove these braces, they'd have a lot of trouble balancing their heads above their shoulders.

The other tribes were slightly different in some ways and similar in others. They each did a ritual dance for us and tried to get us to buy some of their local arts and crafts. I did end up buying a very nice little bracelet from one tribe for my sister, Melissa.. but don't mention that to her as it's a surprise. Thanks.

For our evening in Chiangrai, the plan from our tour manager, Tamara, was to have a $hit shirt party. The concept is simple - find an extremely hilarious, offensive, or hilariously offensive shirt near where we would eat dinner at the night markets that night.. and wear it out to a group night at the bar. Most of us split up after dinner to find our shirts in the 50 yard radius outside of where we had just eaten, and I made a side bet to the three Aussie girls (Lorenzo, Taurus, and Ashton) as they talked a lot of junk on the way back into the hotel, saying that nothing was going to top their shirts. Knowing that virtually nothing could top (pun intended) my shirt, I made them a friendly bet: if their shirts are found to be more outrageous by a jury of our peers, then I owe a drink of choice to all three of them. However, if my shirt is more outrageous, then each one of them owes me a drink.

Let's just say that I walked out of my room at the same time they walked out of their rooms, and they took one look at me and lost it, conceding immediately. I paid 100 baht (about $3) for the shirt, and I received a Sang Som on the rocks from each of them at 70 baht per drink. So for the mathematically challenged, that's 100 baht out, and (70 * 3) = 210 baht in.. = WINNING.

Oh, and if you're wondering what I wore that night.. to quote the late, great Brittany Murphy from that weird movie.. "iiiiiiii'll neverrrr telllllllll." But I just might show you a photo if you ask nicely.. and if you buy me some good food and drink.

After being in Asia for almost three weeks, my bartering skills are on point.. aren't they?

One more note here.. relating back to the A's hat I saw in the Seoul airport.. so.. I saw another one in Chiangrai! A lady working at a mini pineapple stand (they were delicious) in the night market spoke absolutely no English whatsoever.. but she was wearing an Oakland A's hat! .. in Chiangrai, Thailand! Are you kidding me?!

Overnight train ride to Chiangmai, Thailand + Sang Som: Thai Whiskey or Rum? + Aye, Aye, Captain, Eric Clapton

To get from Bangkok to Chiangmai, Thailand, we were to take an overnight train with the locals for about 14 hours. Having never been on an overnight train, and especially not an overnight train through rural southeast Asia, I wasn't quite sure what to expect.. but it turned out to be a really fun experience.

The train starts out with people seated in twos, facing one another.. and much like on an airline, seats are numbered and assigned to each passenger. Since this is an overnight train, there are also fold-out bunk beds for each pair of seat mates, and it's really impressive how they turn things over between daytime and nighttime. Somewhat surprisingly, the beds aren't overly uncomfortable.. but if you're on the top bunk like I am, there are bright white lights across the ceiling of the train that, for some reason, never get turned off.. so I was able to use my neck pillow, which is normally reserved for flights, to wrap around my head and enable me to get a good night's sleep. The Sang Som probably didn't hurt either.. but more on that later.

My seating/bunk mate happened to be Aaron of South Africa, and there are a few things that are fairly funny about this. First and foremost, Aaron is an estimated 6' 8". This is an estimate only because even after 23 years, he's somehow never had to be measured.. not at the doctor, not to get a driver's license.. not for any reason - he legitimately does not know his height. The second thing is that Aaron does virtually the same type of work (same software languages) as I do, just in a different industry.. so we had plenty of painfully boring (to others) techy stuff to discuss during the ride.

The train did serve dinner, but we were forewarned that the quality of the local fare wasn't too great, so a number of us picked up a few things from 7/11 and KFC before we departed. Those who neglected to follow that advice were mostly disappointed by the food being served, so I'm glad we had something to eat beforehand. Also, it took about 2-3 hours after orders were placed before the food was actually served, and delay applied to our drink orders as well. They primarily served beer, but thankfully there were a few liquor options including some local Thai whiskey, called Sang Som.

When I ordered whiskey and coke from the waitress in our car (who we would grow quite close to over the duration of the journey), I wasn't given any pricing or detailed on information.. simply that I would receive whiskey and coke. Instead of a regular drink, what arrived was a fifth of something called Sang Som, which actually claimed to be "Special Rum" on the bottle instead of whiskey.. though our new waitress friend assured me that it was, in fact, whiskey. A bottle of whiskey and two bottles of coke - so it's going to be that kind of night, eh?

The Sang Som, known locally as a Thai Whiskey, has a really interesting flavor.. and I rather enjoy it - as of the time of this posting, it's now been my drink of choice in Thailand for the past three days. It's basically flavored like a whiskey, but it has a sweet finish much like a rum.. and it's pretty much the least expensive thing you can drink in Thailand outside of a bottle of water - the fifth of Sang Som cost just 300 baht, or about $10.. and individual drinks cost 60-70 baht, or about $2.

Once the night got going for our group on the train, the fun began. I nursed (as is tradition) about half of the bottle for most of the night and decided to share the rest with my peers. We played some card games.. kings was the main game.. and we started to have a ridiculous time, easily disturbing many of the other paying passengers on the train. Some were younger or even middle-aged and looking to party with us, but there were also a couple of older locals who wanted no part in our shenanigans whatsoever. For this reason, after 10pm, they open up something called the karaoke car.

One more note about our game of kings (which never actually got finished) - people were starting to get toasty by this point in the evening, and so a few funny rules were put into place. The best one was from our tall, South African friend, Aaron, who mandated that each sentence would need to be completed with the phrase, "Aye, Aye, Captain." As you can probably imagine, this got more than a little tedious, and each time someone slipped up, they had to drink. As the game raged on, FTT found it harder and harder to salute to the captain.. and one time it came out so mangled that it almost sounded like "Eric Clapton" instead of "Aye, Aye, Captain" - so when it was my turn to make a rule, Damon, one of our Aussie friends, recommended that we simply tack Eric Clapton onto the end of our already-stellar salute.. and thus, it was born: "Aye, Aye, Captain, Eric Clapton." This got so ridiculous after a few minutes and had us in stitches for a good half hour, and now it comes up at least a few times a day.. plus it's also the name of our WhatsApp group - so this thing has some legs.

Back to the karaoke car, as they refer to it. Calling it the karaoke car is quite misleading, as there is absolutely no karaoke done in this car.. but it is a party car, which would be a far more appropriate name for it. There is a bartender and servers with a number of tables and loud music playing.. with all of the retired folk sleeping just one car away. And so we went to the karaoke car for an hour or so before it closed for the night, had a few more drinks and laughs, and then called it a night ourselves.

Throughout the night, our bond with the waitress in our car became stronger and stronger with each drink order. We exchanged high fives, pounds, and good times the entire night.. even into the morning. One of the waitresses simply hated us, but this one loved us. Tamara, our group leader, had a rubber chicken that let out an absurd shriek whenever it was squeezed, and our waitress friend to part in that ridiculous madness with us all over the car as well. What a fun train ride it turned out to be.

We were woken up around 6 or 7am by our favorite waitress and arrived in Chiangmai around 8. We then headed towards our hotel and got cleaned up for The Changmai Buddhist Temple for a morning of sightseeing.

Oh, PS - the Beats Pill is almost certainly a knockoff - I spotted a typo on the printed cover.. but wow, they did a nice job otherwise.

My name is Jez

Jez, Jeza, or Jezdog.. these are my new nicknames from the Aussie girls on the tour. I voiced my displeasure citing the similarity to the name Jezebel, but it was too late - I now respond to Jez.

In Australia, nicknames are apparently commonly derived from shortened versions of a person's name + Z, as follows: Jer + Z = Jez. So.. Jez.

In harsh retaliation, I nicknamed them Ashton (Ashleigh), Taurus (Tori), and Lorenzo (Lauren). For now, we'll call it a draw.. but this is far from over.

Bangkok Grand Palace + Feeding the fish (double meaning!) + Surprise Couples' Massage

On this, the first full day of our tour, our first destination is the Grand Palace in Bangkok. The Palace, constructed in 1782, consists of the royal residence, the Royal Monastery of the Emerald Buddha, and several monuments and government offices. It was built for King Rama I as he ascended to the throne, as he apparently felt that his former royal grounds were no longer suitable for a king.


The structures, inside and out, were visually impressive - there's no other way to put it. The level of detail was incredible from floor to ceiling and included intricate multi-tiered roofing which was also lined with gold and detailed designs. In fact, most of what we saw was so impressive that I only used my dSLR camera for photos.. so I'll have to transfer some to my phone and post if I have time.


We did some light praying in the monastery and saw most of the grounds within about an hour or two, and then it was time to move on. But, how can I possibly forget how we arrived at the Palace site.. by ferry!

This wasn't your standard ferry from NJ to midtown or Red Hook to downtown.. it's taken by locals, who will gladly push their way in and through you if you give them the chance.. somewhat reminiscent of the 6 train going downtown in the AM rush hour. The challenge with this ferry is that when you board, you get onto the front platform and they immediately start reprimanding you for not moving quickly enough down the stairs and into the cabin below. The difficulty in this is simply that there isn't ample space down there for the number of passengers on the vessel, so your only recourse is to make some space with whatever means possible. And so people push and angle in any way they can, reminding me the most of that downtown 6, but with the pushing intensity kicked up a few notches. The difference is that there was really a certain charm to it actually, and instead of the aggression coming off as malicious, it feels authentic and acceptable as a staple part of this form of transport.


That said, our tour arranged for a private boat to take us to the next activity, which was to feed bread to some catfish along the river. Bread (for the fish) can be bought locally for 10 baht, or about 30 cents, but we were each provided with a couple of pieces for the feeding. We pull up along a dock where the waters are filled with catfish, and our guide begins to throw some bread in, explaining that the catfish with quickly congregate at any point on the surface of the water where bread is thrown, and that we could even pet their heads as they eat (but not their cheeks, which have sharp edges). Unfortunately, I wasn't able to reach the water from the boat.. but feed them, we did, and it was really cool to see them going nuts after all that bread. That was the first time fish would be fed on this day.


For the second fish feeding, instead of bread, they would feast on our feet. That's right - we fed our feet to the fish. I'm not sure exactly what kind of fish they were, though they were little, and this is a common practice of spas and massage parlors in these parts. The purpose is for these little suckers to remove the all dead skin from the foot.. and there were maybe 60-80 of them in a tank for two.. so roughly 15-20 available for each foot.


We were a bit skeptical to put our feet into the water with these little fishies, but we didn't walk all that way (all of two minutes) just to turn back. I'll start by saying that the sensation is extemely strange and hard to describe.. the best I can do is to say it feels like your feet are being tickled with a bit of added pressure. At some points, the intensity becomes too great and you have to wiggle your feet to shake the fish off. The fish (and also mosquitoes) simply love FTT (being nicnkamed Franco by the Aussie girls at this point).. and they swarm to his feet immediately. I put my feet in and they flocked in my direction, but his feet definitely maintained a larger following throughout.


Nothing about this experience was really unpleasant except for one slightly larger fish that was more silver in color - that one didn't play nicely.. instead of feeling funny, his/her nibbles were slightly uncomfortable. After about 15 minutes (or 15 seconds for Ashleigh), we remove our feet from the tank and wipe them dry.. and the result? I don't think the balls of my feet have ever been so soft.. so it was pretty incredible for simply allowing a bunch of little fish to nibble on them for 15 minutes. If you can withstand the tickling feeling better than Ashleigh, I would recommend.


Speaking of Ashleigh, quickly one of my besties on the trip, we had both been wanting to ride in a tuk tuk, a little open-air taxi that flies around the streets of southeast Asia at fairly high speeds, since neither of us had the opportunity to do so yet. So we bargain with a tuk tuk driver to take us around for ten minutes or so and show us some of Bangkok in the process - 100 baht (around $3) was the agreed upon price, but apparently we overpaid. Ouch.


The ride was really fun - the feeling from the open air is similar to that of a convertible, just with less wind - more like a nice breeze. Suspension on these things are almost nonexistent, so bumps are felt much more than in a modern car, but that almost makes it more fun. After the tuk tuk driver took some touristy photos of us, we were off to meet the rest of our crew to get some 60-minute Thai neck/back/shoulder massages.

The rest of the crew this time (FTT, Tori, Lauren) was already there, so we walked in and ordered the same as they did. Ash had some trouble getting her bills out so I covered her and said to just hit me back for the 300 baht ($10) a bit later. Let's just say this move may have caused a bit of confusion amongst the ranks of this massage parlor.


Ash and I are sitting in the waiting area and everyone gets called in for their massages except us, but we're okay with it as we have some fine conversation going around Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, among other things. Finally they call us in - both of us - together. They walk us up to a room with two little mattresses sitting next to one another and ask us to lay down. At this point we're still not entirely sure what their grand plan is, but one of the masseuses asks Ash to lay down and starts getting to work on her. I sat there and twiddled my thumbs for a good ten minutes while she got worked on and we both had a good laugh at the situation, as we had only first met less than 24 hours prior. The light sound of drilling could be heard from street, and that made the setup even more romantic.


A moment later, a man walks in and asks me to take my shirt off. Ashleigh is still in her shorts and tee shirt, and I'm being asked to disrobe? Seems fair - but I'm not terribly interested in doing so for him, so I kindly ask him to send in a lady. A lady comes in a few minutes later and gives me a great deep tissue massage which left me limber and feeling great. Ashleigh was in some discomfort and did not enjoy the deep tissue aspect of it. Also.. strangely, my masseuse didn't ask me to remove my shirt as the man did before her. Hmm. All in all, it was a wonderful surprise couples' massage.

My ATM card is lost in The Chiangmai Buddhist Temple on tour day 3 of 14 (The Temple giveth, and the Tenple taketh away) + Thai cooking school! + Chiangmai Night Market

It's day 3 of 14 on the tour, and my ATM card (and 1800 baht, or about $50) is officially gone. I can no longer access my bank accounts or take out cash of any currency. I have about $500 USD remaining, about $100 of which needs to go towards visas for Laos/Cambodia and optional activities which I'm not willing to pass up. Luckily, Frank the Tank (FTT) will now become Frank the Bank (FTB), and the two acronyms can be used interchangeably. I will likely need to hit Frank up in Laos, at which point I'll paypal him and he'll dish me some cash from the ATM. All in all, it's a bit of a pain and an inconvenience, but not the end of the world. So here's how it happened..

Our trip for the daytime was to visit the Buddhist Temple in Chiangmai, Thailand. It was much different than the Grand Palace in Bangkok as it was really a place dedicated to prayer, and not a center for government, being a Buddhist Temple and all. What it did have in common with the Grand Palace was its tendency to finish structures in gold, which is always very impressive.

When you walk up to the main area of the temple, you take your shoes off (as with many places in these parts, even secular ones) and walk in. It's essentially a square with small temples filled with monks and Buddhas around the outside and an inner square lined with statues and a large religious beacon in the middle.

As with most landmarks with religious affiliations in southeast Asia, shoulders and legs must be covered.. so the standard uniform is a shirt and some elephant pants (light pants covered with elephants and crazy designs/colors) or another form of loose, light pants. I happened to have an old, light pair of khakis that work perfectly for a situation like this.. with the only issue being that the pockets on these pants are also a bit loose.. but more on that in a moment.

On the long stairway up to the temple, Frank and I decided to sprint up to get some exercise, since it'd been a little hard to get some in thus far on the trip. This is the first point during which my ATM card and cash might've flown out, as we sprinted up a pretty long flight of steps fairly ferociously.

Once on the main level of the temple, we began visiting the rooms of prayer with the monks and Buddhas. Upon walking into these rooms, one must kneel down and lean forward whilst praying, and the monk says a prayer aloud and sprinkles water on the group. I don't believe I prayed for my ATM card and cash to disappear, but this is the second possibility that could have easily led to it falling out, during the kneeling portion of the prayer. Regardless, after the praying and water sprinkling, we scooted closely up  to the monk using our knees (so as not to stand), one by one, to receive our string bracelet which was to bring us good luck. Hopefully the loss of cash and my only form of withdrawing funds was just my way of getting rid of any remaining bad luck in my system to make room for all the good luck to come.. so we'll see how that works out. That said, this little string bracelet has a special significance, as it was tied on by a monk after a prayer, which I took very seriously. The idea is to leave the bracelet on for a minimum of three days, or until it falls off naturally.. and I will choose to do the latter since I really do like it a lot.

After the praying and bracelet reception, we walked around the square to admire some of the beautiful statues and learn a little about their significance. One row of statues around the inner square was to represent each day of the week, where the day on which a person is born will dictate which statue and color the person is connected to in Buddhist lore. I was born in the early-morning hours of the day after Thanksgiving in 1980.. so 12:23am on Saturday, November 29th was my date and time of birth. The important part here is the Saturday - most of the significance around these statues is around which famous kings and royal or religious figures in history were born on that day. Also, the color that represents Saturday is purple, so perhaps I should start wearing more purple.

Next, we decide to walk around the inner circle, which is essentially like doing laps around this beautiful stone/gold-lined track that surrounds this religious beacon of sorts. Someone along the line mentioned that to walk around this structure three times in prayer would bring us much good luck. Sounds good - let's keep stocking up all of this good luck for the bank so it's available when needed.

A quick sidenote - the landscape of cliques within the group has shifted to something reminiscent of high school, with the six guys mostly doing things together and the 12 girls split into a few smaller groups doing the same. FTB and I now mostly hang out with Nick and Damon, two solid Aussie bros.. and the four of us start to walk around this religious beacon.

As we start walking, we see a small group of girls and ask them to confirm that we need to walk around three times since we weren't sure. Jas, an Aussie girl on our trip, quickly responds that it's three times for girls, but six for guys.. so we take her at her word and get our walk on.

Just to set the scene here.. it's hot - probably 80-85. Also, we're wearing long pants due to the knee-covering requirements, plus we're carrying some of our bags and cameras. Walking around this inner square takes 3+ minutes per lap, so now we're talking 20 minutes for this walking expedition.

As we finish about 20+ minutes later, we run into Jas and a few of the girls and tell them how we've just completed the grueling trek around the temple.. but it took forever, we lost count, and we also lost Nick somewhere along the way.. but we're pretty sure we got all six laps in, as Damon was keeping a count as we walked. She then asks us why we went around six times when we only needed to go around thrice: "You thought I was serious about guys going around six times?" Man.. she got us good. That's a page right out of my book. Well played, Jas.

We finally find Nick, and he's exhausted and hot like the rest of us.. but he wouldn't find out about the prank until a few nights later. The hope is that by going around six times instead of the obligatory three, that we've now doubled our luck intake.. so let's just keep stacking up luck and see where it takes us.

At this point, we're all pretty hot and thirsty, so we waltz over to a little outdoor seating area that had some drinks and such. On the way over, there are a couple of nice buildings and statues to take photos of, but those all played second fiddle to the real gem of this excision - the monk standing outside of the monastery, talking on his mobile phone. Now.. I don't know the exact details on the rules around this, but I'm fairly certain that speaking, in general, is not on the table if you're a proper monk. Perhaps as times have changed with technology, so, too, have they changed for religious figures like monks.. but I'm not so sure about that.

Regardless, this would mark the third, and in my opinion, most likely scenario in which my cash and ATM card could have fallen out. Once I saw this incredible shot, I had to take a photo.. and fast. Since my big boy camera was stowed away in its bag for the moment, I needed to grab my own cell phone from my pocket to snap a few shots. I did catch a shot or two of this incredible site.. The problem here is that I had been keeping the rubbebanded cash/ATM card convo tucked away in the same pocket of these loose pants.. so when I pulled the phone out to take a photo, my guess is that my cash and card simply came out with it..  but at least I got the shot, right?

So we have a trip to a Buddhist temple during which there were three good possibilities of my cash and ATM card falling out of my pocket.. but we'll never truly know what happened that fateful day. What we do know, however, is that the Chiangmai Buddhist Temple giveth, and the Chiangmai Buddhist Temple taketh away. I received a very special string bracelet from a monk, and I should've accrued so much good luck during the numerous religious rituals, that it seems like $50 and an ATM card is a relatively small price to pay.

The next activity on this day is one that I was very much looking forward to as soon as I read the itinerary - Thai cooking class! First, we go to meet the teacher of the class in the local street markets of Chiangmai to learn about some of the local fare, and in particular, some of the items we'll be using in our dinners for later. The teacher was just great.. he was so informative and knowledgeable about all of the items he showed us.. where they come from, what they're typically used for, etc.. and he threw in a joke about lady boys about once every five or ten minutes.. and that's always a crowd pleader in these parts.

After learning about the local markets and foods, it's time to head out to his house/cooking school. It's a perfect setup for a cooking class, or any class for that matter - basically a horseshoe of tables/pots+pans+utensils/stoves, all of which surrounded the teacher of the class, as he faces us so he can easily show us what to do. We each have our own stove and cooking utensils (plus a cooking book with Thai recipes), so there's no collaborating for this class - everyone's dinner's fate lies in their own hands and the ability of those hands to cook it.

As I've already mentioned.. the teacher is just great. He describes everything we need to do very clearly, and step by step, so it really isn't difficult to make any of the items on our menu at all. Speaking of the menu, we have Tom Yum soup (I chose chicken over shrimp) to start, followed by Panaang Curry with chicken, Pad Thai wrapped in egg, Thai Chicken with cashews and vegetables, and mangoes and sticky rice to finish off for dessert. Everything is to be made from scratch by us except the sticky rice, which takes hours of preparation to make.. so our rice is already sticky to begin with.

Simply put.. the food was fng awesome. Three days later, I still can't believe how good it was. Surprisingly, my two favorite items were items that I was trying for the first time - Panaang Curry with chicken and mangoes with sticky rice.. just phenomenal. Now I'm excited to try these items back in the city.. so hopefully I won't be too disappointed.

To finish the day off, we went to the Chiangmai night markets unwind. Night markets in southeast asia remind me somewhat of the Grand Bizarre in Istanbul or even some of the street fairs down the alleyways in Seoul. These markets mostly consist of locals and stands selling anything from local food to souvenirs, and bargaining is most certainly on the table. So.. fun.

A bunch of us met up at the markets and did a little shopping for souvenirs and snacks.. and then we went to a local pub for some drinks and pool. This ended up being a low key type of night, which was much needed at the pace we'd been going.